$29.99
Forget zero calories. This is the drink of champions, flirts, and people who never behave.
Unisex classic fit, true to size. Between sizes or like it slouchy? Size up. Combed ring-spun cotton; heathers are a cotton/poly blend.
Printed to order and shipped in 2–5 business days. Tracking lands in your inbox.
Wrong size? We’ll fix it. See our Return Policy and Content Disclaimer for the fine print.
Zero calories, infinite chaos. Diet Cock is a bold soda-logo parody tee for the hopeless flirts, the tequila chasers, and everyone who swears they’ll behave before immediately not. It’s the funny gay parody shirt for brunch messes, day-drinkers, and anyone who winks at the waiter for sport. Printed loud and playful on a soft, true-to-size unisex tee, it’s a perfect gag gift for your thirstiest friend. Serve looks, serve attitude, serve one more round. Best enjoyed with ice, drama, and questionable decisions.
Demon twinks, haunted hookups and costumes that require zero effort.
Tees from $29.99.